Hey, folks! Destri here! So, Bailee and I set out to make a little blog post about our post-hurricane experiences and well, things got a little out of a hand. So, this is a little longer than our normal than our other posts. We also decided to write the post from my voice mostly even though we both contributed. So, thanks for reading and enjoy!
A few days ago made one-month since Hurricane Helene rocked our Western North Carolina region. There’s a term we saw someone use recently called “hurricane brain” when talking about what life has been like post-Helene. Basically, it’s your brain in trauma-response mode following a natural disaster. Like other life-altering traumatic events nothing is how it was before, routines don’t exist, and all future plans are brought into question. But unlike the traumatic events we experience individually in our lives, a natural disaster comes with a collective grieving as we all live through our region’s devastation and loss of life.
To deal with all this, the brain goes into self-preservation mode which for many results in a decreased capacity for daily skills like time management and emotional regulation. For neurodiverse individuals, it can also result in a big hit to things like executive functioning skills. As Bailee puts it, “your brain becomes the hurricane”.
In case neurodivergence is a new term for you, a basic definition is “differing in mental or neurological function from what is considered typical or normal; not neurotypical”. Many working people fall under this category. It could mean autism, or it can mean anxiety! This even includes depression and ADHD. Many people who identify as neurodivergent utilize tools, or accommodations, to help with their daily lives and functioning. Many neurodivergent individuals experience a resurgence or exasperation of their symptoms in times of extreme stress or trauma.
Bailee and I are two peas in a neurodivergent pod. That means that our workspace has a lot of accommodations and that we are extra mindful to avoid harmful capitalist expectations of each other. Any given work day you can find us body-doubling, setting timers, giving each other routine tips, and following the three drink rule (one for caffeine, one for hydration, one for fun, IYKYK). We’ve also both had a lot of experience at workplaces, including nonprofit organizations, where capitalist expectations prioritized productivity over… well, everything. And both of us got our nonprofit start working in domestic violence services so we’re experienced at centering trauma-informed practices. All these factors come together to form our approach to an inclusive workplace.
At Grow Your Good, we work to practice emotional transparency in the workplace with established boundaries and consideration for each other’s capacity. We encourage each other to enjoy guilt-free rest when it is needed and to proactively vocalize how we can support one another. This kind of directness may not work for neurotypical folks (so I am told), but for us it is a great way to make sure both of our needs are being met and we stay clear of running into burnout. And boy when we tell you, those skills and philosophies got put to the test after Hurricane Helene.
It has been a few weeks now of providing extra care and patience to each other and ourselves. While we are nowhere close to being on the “other side” of this experience, we thought it would be a good opportunity to share some of the ways we’ve supported each other through Hurricane Brain.
If it’s not necessary, put it to the side (for now).
Setting yourself up with the expectation that you will function as normal right away is only going to lead to more frustration and disappointment. Any work, whether that’s career work or housework, that isn’t necessary; put it to the side for later.
Living in a region going through a natural disaster has a number of disorienting moments. A friend of Bailee’s recently shared how, after a month of living without power, she still struggles to remember to not flip the light switch when she walks into a dark room. For those of us whose power, water, and communications have been restored, there is a strong urge to “get back to normal." We’re all conditioned to internalize the need to prioritize productivity above all, and that includes grieving and processing an event as traumatic as a natural disaster. And for some folks, this distraction may work for a while. But for more folks, the ability to act as though things were “normal” was more of a pressure than they could bear. And the truth is, whether you feel like trying to go through normal or not, your trauma-response brain is simply not going to be its old self. Diminished cognitive function is a common trauma response, and it can be especially hard for neurodivergent individuals already struggling with issues like executive functioning. We had a lot of days doing what we call SIMS mode: walking into a room and standing there like a SIMS character waiting to be prompted.
So, avoid dog-piling frustration and guilt onto your mental load and give yourself some time to process what’s going on around you. When you’re ready, a good place to start with getting back on track is focusing on your routine.
Routine is important. If your normal routine isn’t possible, find the elements that are.
Oh, Lord, are we lovers of routine and my routine’s best friend, the planner. Each day I sit down with my planner and fill in the little squares in my planner’s streaktracking section to make sure I do all my dailys, like taking vitamins, workday rituals, and evening routine. I was fortunate that the damage my county experienced was nothing compared to our neighboring counties in the east. But for days after the storm, our county had no internet or cell phone reception, meaning no school for our kids or no work. The days blended together, and stretches of pajama time seemed to get longer and longer. Bailee’s experience of six days without power and longer stretches without communication and school for her teenage daughter (a particularly agreeable demographic, we all know) made my experience look easy. For both of us, there was no semblance of a routine in those days.
But finally, when our communications and utilities were restored, getting back to routine was more of a struggle than either of us had predicted. After I realized that my normal routine was nowhere near my ability to handle, I decided to lower my bar to just doing the most basic elements needed. “Morning routine” became “brush teeth." “Workday startup” turned into “open email today." And a few daily chores became weekly chores. Slowly, my stamina, capacity, and window of tolerance grew to something that looks similar to my old routine. One habit we made sure to keep up with, one way or another, was staying checked in physically.
Find a time to check in with your body every day.
We all know it, the body keeps score. Stress, trauma, unprocessed grief, our body makes sure that what we avoid is waiting for us when we are ready. Many neurodivergent individuals experience interoceptive (or feelings of knowing what is going on within your own body) difficulties, including symptoms like missing bodily cues for hunger, dehydration, or stress. When we are out of routine and going through stressful times, those symptoms can be worse than ever all while our body is taking on more than ever. Find a time every day, whether scheduled or sporadic, to sit down and take some time to check in with yourself physically. Again, keep the bar low to start. Set a timer for a five-minute stretch, a two-minute meditation, or ten minutes outside. Whatever you choose, just pick something that allows you some quiet time to hear the signals your body has for you. Trust us, on days when you feel like rotting in the bed, this will not feel fun. Which brings us to our next tip.
Don’t forget, self-care is a moving target and isn’t always fun.
Many neurodivergent individuals deal with food and sensory sensitivities and something as seemingly simple as feeding yourself can feel impossible. Bailee has lived her life with a sensory integration disorder and has taught me a great deal about this experience. So, I thought it would be best to let her tell y’all about her accommodations in her own words:
“As someone who struggles every day to eat healthy, Helene and other natural disasters have made those choices even more difficult. I would rather not eat than have a vegetable, and I have definitely made that poor decision before. Now, I have to try really hard to take care of myself. That could mean adding in a greens vitamin, or whatever food you don't want to partake in, there is a vitamin for it! Check with doctors first! I might also try adding powder supplements to drinks! I love Oats Overnight!
Destri has mentioned before how I allow myself more grace for junk food than she does. It has had me thinking for a while. Junk food is… food. Even if it doesn’t look like it to you. The biggest lesson I have learned—no matter what, eating is always the right choice.” - Bailee
5. We’re all going through it. Be patient and take care of each other.
Not everyone around you is going to be self-aware, much less vocal, about the fact that they are going through a hard time right now. It’s important that we remember no one gets by unaffected when a natural disaster hits. As much patience as you give yourself, you’re going to need to give others and vice versa. If there is one thing Asheville has shown in all this it’s the importance of mutual aid and community. This has been a stark reminder that when something like this happens, the community around us is all we have. So, as we move past the honeymoon phase of enthusiastic community cohesion and into one of disillusionment and frustration, take a breath and remember that our frustration is with a series of failing systems and institutions, not each other.
Hopefully, you won’t find yourself recovering from a natural disaster anytime soon but in the reality that a hard time eventually comes for us all, we hope some of these tips will help you get by.
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